# Why “Hey” Gets You Ghosted: First Message Tips for Dating Apps
Sending just 'hey' on dating apps almost guarantees you'll get ignored. Here's why it backfires and what to write when you feel stuck.
Why “Hey” Gets You Ghosted, And What to Say Instead (Even If You’re Blank)
Let’s be honest: the easiest thing to type on a dating app is “hey.”
And sure, it’s polite. It’s neutral. It’s… invisible.
Because here’s the problem:
“Hey” doesn’t start a conversation. It hands over the work.
It’s like walking into a party, poking someone on the shoulder, and just standing there.
On apps where people get dozens of messages, “hey” is the easiest one to ignore.
Why Even a Vague Opener Is Better
Here’s the good news:
You don’t need a genius line.
You just need something that gives them a hook.
Even vague curiosity beats no effort.
Examples: Lazy vs. Lightly Playful
| Don’t send just… | Try instead… |
|---|---|
| “Hey 😊” | “I was going to say hey, but that’s too boring. So… mysterious hello!” |
| “Hi there!” | “Not sure what to say yet, but you seemed worth the match risk 😉” |
| “Yo” | “Okay, be honest: how bad are your opening lines usually? Let’s compare.” |
See what’s happening?
These aren’t Shakespeare, but they give personality and invite a reply.
Why It Works
The first message sets the tone.
A little playfulness or curiosity says:
- I noticed you.
- I can laugh at myself.
- I’m worth talking to.
And if you’re really stuck?
Need Help? MiraiDate’s Got You
Not sure how to mix your vibe with theirs?
That’s exactly why we built MiraiDate.
We don’t just spit out random lines.
We help you craft openers that fit:
- The platform you’re on (Tinder’s cheeky, Hinge is thoughtful, Bumble mixes both).
- Your intent (fun, flirty, curious, serious).
- And your personal tone (more spicy, more original, more playful: your choice).
Here’s the kind of magic you get:
- “I noticed we didn’t have a bio to go off, but I’m intrigued by the mystery. What’s one thing you’d love to try but haven’t yet?”
- “Your vibe caught my eye. What’s something exciting you’ve done recently that you’d recommend to someone always up for a new adventure?”
- “So, Clara, if we were characters in a novel, what kind of thrilling urban adventure would we find ourselves in? Let’s make our own story.”
Instead of “hey,” you send something that sounds like you, fits the moment, and invites a real reply.
It’s like having a wingmate who’s part matchmaker, part ghostwriter.
Final Take
You don’t need perfect lines.
But you do need more than “hey.”
Show a flicker of personality.
Ask a light question.
Laugh at the awkwardness.
Anything that says, “Hey, I’m here to actually talk.”
Related Reading
How to Open to an Empty Profile
What to do when your match has zero bio, zero prompts, and zero clues.
The Eternal List of Bumble Prompts and How to Handle Them Smartly
Learn how to pick prompts that match your intent and make your personality pop.